let’s talk about food-shaming
in the day and age of body positivity, self-love, and balance, it’s [unfortunately] still very common for things like body-shaming to happen on a regular basis. just look at the comments on literally any celebrity’s or blogger’s instagram feed and you’ll see people telling them they’re too fat, too skinny, ugly, too made-up, not made-up enough, dressing too slutty, dressing too conservatively… i’m getting annoyed just typing all of this out, so i’m gonna stop there.
while body-shaming gets a lot of press, one thing that’s a little less talked about is food-shaming. food-shaming is essentially the same thing as body-shaming, only instead of targeting the person, it’s the food that the person is eating that’s being attacked. which basically ends up turning into a personal attack… even if it’s in a roundabout way.
not sure what i’m talking about? food-shaming typically sounds a little something like…
“you’re eating that?” or…
“do you know how many calories are in those?!“
“ew. this wrap is disgusting. i can’t believe you’re still eating it.”
“what is that smell? it’s your food?! i’m literally gonna throw up.”
so, what’s the big deal? people have different tastes… it’s all a matter of opinion… right?
the problem is this: a lot of people feel bad enough around food as it is. they’re so wrapped up in trying to decipher the whole “dieting” thing that they can’t keep straight what foods are “good” and what foods are “bad”. they don’t know if they should count calories… or track macros… or cut sugar or carbs or dairy or gluten. they don’t know if they should go vegetarian… or vegan… or paleo.
or maybe, they had a bad day and just want to eat some effing ice cream.
not only is it confusing, many people feel massive amounts of anxiety when it comes to eating… regardless of if they show it or not. maybe they’ve tried atkins… they’ve tried the south beach diet… the ducan diet… and none of those worked, so they went vegan… and that didn’t work either… so they gave up, and are simply doing their best to try to figure out what will work for them [remember, it’s different for everyone].
or they were craving pizza and decided to just eat a damn pizza. some people listen to their cravings and act on them. crazy, i know. [and no, this doesn’t mean they’re weak. it just means they listen to their bodies.
if you haven’t already guessed… i’ve been there, and it’s effing stressful. the last thing i need is someone commenting on my carb intake or how i should be eating this instead of that… or how disgusting they think the food i’m eating is… that last one really bugs the sh*t of me.
the solution here is actually really simple and goes back to something we all learned in kindergarten: if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
this might all sound silly, but i can tell you from firsthand experience that negative comments about what i’m eating [especially in the moment] really make me uncomfortable. they make me feel as if i should be embarrassed by my food choices… and sometimes, it’s bad enough to make me just want to stop eating all together. and if i have felt this way, as some who generally doesn’t give af what other people think of me… and also as someone who loves food… there’s a pretty good chance other people feel the same way.
if you follow a vegan diet and you’re at dinner with your friends and someone orders a steak, don’t tell them where the steak came from. if you don’t like the sandwich you ordered… and your friend is eating the exact same thing… don’t eat it. and don’t comment on how “effing gross” you think it is. that’s food-shaming at its finest and it’s not cool.
[disclaimer: i’m guilty of this kind of sh*t, but have been working on biting my tongue and keeping my opinions to myself lately.]
it’s time for all of us to get off of our pedestals and just worry about ourselves. i get it, your intentions might be good and you might be coming from a caring, loving place… but, even if you do mean well… just stfu and mind your own business. unless someone asks you for advice… you’re opinion on what they’re eating just does. not. matter.
just worry about taking care of yourself and being mindful about what you’re putting into your own body.
have you ever been food-shamed? or food-shamed someone else? how did it make you feel? share in the comments below!
what i ate wednesday: london, baby!
if you follow me on instagram and snapchat [which you should be, duh!] you’re probably well aware that i spent the first 2 weeks of july in the u.k. and ireland with my family. it was a [much needed] vacation that exceeded my expectations in just about every way imaginable… the food being one of them.
it comes as no surprise that i. love. food. like… i really love food. i consider myself to be a “foodie” and aside from my pescatarian diet, will try juuuuusssstttttt about anything. so, when i started to hear that the food in the places we were going kinda sucked… i was… disappointed… but ultimately decided to brush off the haters and go in with a completely open mind.
and it turns out… those people didn’t know what the eff they were talking about. need proof? look no further! here’s another edition of what i ate wednesday… featuring london, baby!
full english breakfast at muriel’s kitchen:
traveling from l.a. to london involved being in airport/on a plane for nearly 24 hours, so by the time we arrived i was ready for some real food. since we landed in the late morning, brunch it was! i found muriel’s on instagram, and when i saw that they served traditional english breakfast [aka full english] i knew this would be a great first stop… a real “welcome to the u.k.” kinda meal, ya feel me?
a truly traditional full english involves bacon and/or sausage, but luckily for me, muriel’s served a vegetarian version, swapping out the meat for bubble and squeak, another traditional english dish made from potatoes and cabbage. i [obviously] added a mimosa because #vacation… perfect way to kick off the trip!
fish + chips [+ beer!] at the fish house:
naturally, our first dinner in england could have only been one thing… fish + chips! i’m honestly happier than i should be that i had never in my life experienced fish + chips until this moment… i feel like it made it that much better… and i instantly became obsessed [and proceeded to eat way more fried fish over the next 2 weeks than anyone should… so sue me].
the fish house was my favorite of them all… the breading was crispy, the fish literally melted in my mouth, and the chips [aka fries] were just how i like ’em… i normally cannot stand mayo… but in europe served with fries? bring it on.
high tea at the wolseley:
on day 2 in london, my mom, my aunt, and i sent the boys off on their own so we could enjoy afternoon tea at the wolseley, which was recommended to me by a dear friend who grew up between london and new york… oh. my. god. i don’t even know where to begin here.
the scones with jam and clotted cream: insane. the finger sandwiches [egg salad, cucumer, smoked salmon with cream cheese] were made with the softest bread of all time. the desserts, the jasmine tea, the champagne?! this is a meal… no, an experience… that i will remember for the rest of my life. speechless.
indian fare at thali:
ever since i went to india in 2014, indian food has just never been the same. luckily, london is known for having incredible indian cuisine all over the city, and we certainly had plenty of options. i had never tried thali before, but it was a perfect way to have a little bit of everything considering that everything on the menu sounded incredible.
thali is essentially a giant round sampler platter, served with basmati rice in the center and naan on the side… and then gulab jamun for dessert. my thali consisted of saag paneer, spicy red lentils, tandoori potatoes, fried okra with onions and tomatoes, and a yogurt dip. still didn’t live up to indian food in india… but it came pretty damn close… and the naan? i could have had about 4 more servings. so. damn. good.
ice cream at marshfield farm:
on our day trip from london to stonehenge, we stopped in bath for a few hours, and our tour guide insisted that we go to marshfield farm for ice cream. that soft serve on the top there? clotted. cream. ice cream. need i say more?
so, in conclusion… london was pretty spectacular, food-wise. the verdict:
must eat: high tea at the wolseley
must drink: a beer literally everywhere you go
honorable mention: fish + chips at the fish house
next time, for what i ate wednesday, i’ll dive into the food in the isle of man, belfast, and dublin… london really just needed its own post because of how effing good everything was.
where are your favorite london spots?! comment below… i’ll be making it back to this city one of these days!
vacation mode: ACTIVATED
today is a good day. it’s friday. it’s a half day at the office [for most of us] thanks to the 4th of july falling on a monday, but most importantly, for me, today marks the beginning of my first real vacation in almost a year…
… and i’ll be off to the u.k. in a few short hours!
if you’re a regular over here at bananas + bellinis, you already know how i feel about traveling… and if you’re new to these parts, i’ll keep it quick… i’m obsessed with it and nothing makes me happier.
this vacation is big for a few reasons. first, it’s the only extended vacation [two whole weeks!] that i’ve taken since moving to l.a. and starting my job at snacknation [it’s been almost a year ago now… woah]… needless to say, i’m effing ready for a break.
second, all of the places we’re visiting are places i’ve never been. i’ve been lucky enough to have done quite a bit of traveling around europe in the past, but the u.k. is untouched territory for me, and i can’t wait to check some new countries off my list.
finally, this trip is special because i’m traveling with my parents, my little brother, and my aunt and her husband… and we’ll be celebrating my dad’s 64th birthday in liverpool [you know… like the beatles song “when i’m 64″… get it?!]. needless to say, this is going to be an amazing couple of weeks and i’m jumping out of my skin with excitement right now and couldn’t focus on anything if you paid me.
as always, i’ll be active on instagram, facebook, twitter, and snapchat [username kelsey1988] so you can follow along with my adventures in real time… and expect recaps from each city and of all of the food in the weeks following my return.
if any of you guys have recommendations for things to do, places to see, or things to stuff my face with in london, liverpool, isle of man, belfast or dublin… leave them in the comments below or tweet me [@bananasbellinis]… i think the best way to see a new place is to balance the touristy stuff with a more “local” experience, so i’m open to all suggestions! balance can really apply to all aspects of your life, you know?
on that note, i’m signing off! have some loose ends to tie up and a carry-on to pack before i head to the airport this evening. enjoy the long holiday weekend, stay safe, stay balanced, and i’ll see you on the other side… first stop… london, baby!
book club: mastering your mean girl
a few weeks ago, i announced that i would be launching a “book club” series here on bananas + bellinis, and i could not be more excited to dive in with my first official review for mastering your mean girl by melissa ambrosini.
mastering your mean girl definitely falls into the self-help or personal development category, and based on what i’m all about here at bananas + bellinis… and my own personal struggle with body image, self-confidence, and just generally being my own worst enemy… this book really, really resonated with me.
just to give you a little bit of background, melissa ambrosini is an author, coach, and speaker who defines herself as an “ambassador of choosing love over fear in every moment”. yea, she’s pretty badass, and after years of following her on social media, i was lucky enough to attend an event she hosted in venice a few months ago with a couple of my girlfriends.
not only did we receive a copy of mastering your mean girl, but we also got to meet melissa, and spend an evening in safe space with other women who can relate to her journey, and hear all about exactly how choosing love over fear and silencing your mean girl… you know her, she’s the voice in your head telling you you’re not smart enough, pretty enough, rich enough, skinny enough to do xy and z… can change the entire trajectory of your life.
of course, choosing love over fear is one of those things that’s waaayyyyyy easier said than done. i mean… if it was easy, wouldn’t we all be doing it? melissa doesn’t deny this truth, and even states:
“my journey is far from over, though — i choose to keep learning, growing, and evolving every day. i choose to keep mastering my mean girl every second. and i continue to choose love over fear in every moment.”
and she’s right. this isn’t one of those books that you can read, put into practice once, and be done with. choosing love over fear, and telling your inner mean girl to go eff herself when she pops up is something you have consciously do day in and day out… for the rest of your life. i know that i’ll be revisiting this book… whether in bit and pieces or in full… for years to come.
the other thing that i really love about melissa’s approach is that she stresses the importance of taking care of yourself. i’m all about self-love and self-care, from the inside out! when we love ourselves, we want to take care of ourselves, and when we’re taking care of ourselves it’s easier to love ourselves… it really goes both ways. she encourages everyone to take a very balanced and holistic approach to wellness, something i can clearly get behind!
on top of this just being a great read, melissa also includes “inspo-actions” throughout the book… places where you’ll pause, reflect, and actually implement what you’re learning along the way. remember, choosing love is something you have to consciously do, so actively doing this throughout the book helps to show you how and where you need to apply this approach to your own life, based on the battles you are fighting with yourself.
all in all, in you’ve ever struggled with stress, anxiety, body image, or self-worth, engage in negative self-talk on a regular basis, or are just trying to find a better way of living, but don’t know where to start, i suggest grabbing a copy of mastering your mean girl and diving in a.s.a.p… you definitely won’t regret it!
3 simple ways to manage stress + anxiety
sorry that today’s post is going up a little late… but there’s a reason, i promise! … which i will explain: one thing i haven’t talked about too much here on the blog is my ongoing battle with stress and anxiety. it’s not exactly the easiest thing to talk about, but i’ve sort of felt a “call” to write about it lately. i think that there’s a certain level of therapy involved in being vulnerable, and i just wanted to make sure i was doing it right [stress about being perfect, anyone?]… so, here we go.
ever since i was little, i can remember experiencing extreme bouts of stress and anxiety, which tended to manifest in the form of stomach aches, constant nausea, heartburn [i literally never left home without a pack of rolaids], and nights lying awake in bed for hours before being able to fall asleep because my mind wouldn’t stop racing.
throughout my life, i’ve definitely been able to recognize that i experience high levels of stress and anxiety… but to a certain extent, assumed it was normal. everyone seems to be “stressed” these days, right? why should i be any different? i even feel like sometimes we glorify being “stressed” and look down upon the people who aren’t, accusing them of being “lazy” and “unmotivated”.
can stress be a good thing? sometimes. but if you’re experiencing stress that:
- disturbs your sleeping patterns
- impacts your appetite [in either direction]
- makes you feel short of breath, nauseous or lightheaded
- causes you to break down, shut down or lash out
… then it isn’t the good kind of stress.
to this day, i still experience high levels of stress and anxiety that cause all of the above. and it effing sucks. sometimes it’s worse than others. sometimes i’m stressed about work… sometimes about my appearance… lately i’ve been stressed about the state of the world we live in and where society is headed… you name it, i’ve probably stressed about it excessively at one point or another.
the difference now is that i don’t just accept it as “normal” and struggle to live with it… i manage it.
over the past six months [after having a breakdown mid-november], i’ve found what works best for me when it comes to managing stress, and have a few different things i turn to when i start feeling even just a little bit anxious.
these 3 things help me to get centered and continue moving forward with a sense of calm [or, let’s be honest, at least a lower level of stress]:
1. get moving. it’s a no brainer that exercise is directly linked to our state of mind. think about it… how many times have you left yoga or finished a sweat session feeling worse than you did before? literally never. even though the thought of doing any sort of physical activity can be the last thing we want to do when we’re stressed, we need to suck it up and just do it [nike was seriously onto something here]. not only will all of those endorphins make you feel like you’re on cloud nine, going for a long run or hitting the yoga mat, even just taking a 10-minute walk, gives you a chance to remove yourself from whatever it is that’s stressing you out and just focus on the present moment.
2. meditate. over the past 3-4 months, my meditation practice has become consistent, and it plays a huge role in helping me to manage stress. every morning, i wake up 20 minutes early and do a guided meditation [i have a little “meditation corner” set up in my room] to set the tone for the rest of the day. i’m one of those people whose brain never. shuts. off. and meditating forces me to be still, acknowledge the thoughts i’m having, and then immediately let them go. it allows you to remove yourself from the outside world and turn inward, where the answers to just about all of our problems lie. if you’re new to the whole meditation thing, start small! even 5 minutes each day is enough to rewire your brain.
[not sure where to start? boho beautiful has some really great guided meditations on youtube, but this one specifically is good for cultivating a sense of peace and tranquility… and it only takes 10 minutes!]
3. listen to your favorite music. i’m a music lover. i grew up in a household that always have music playing, and my parents instilled their love of music on me from a very young age. i love finding new music just as much as i love listening to artists i’ve been obsessed with for years, and dabbling in new genres has expanded my musical preferences quite a bit. across the board, one thing’s for sure: music has healing powers. feeling stressed? play some jack johnson. feeling tired? put on the chainsmokers. feeling sad? hello, t. swift! need to make yourself feel like a badass? “big rings” by drake can help. allow yourself to really feel the music and let it take you away for a minute. keep it playing in the background while you go about your day [if you can] or plug into your headphones when you’re trying to get through your least favorite activity at work. there’s a reason that music is such a huge part of every culture… it’s universal, and as bob marley said, “when it hits you, you feel no pain.”
of course, there are many other ways to manage stress and anxiety, and i definitely encourage you to explore and find out what works best for you. these 3 things are simple and seem to help me the most, but i also keep journaling, taking a relaxing bath, and simply breathing up my sleeve for those really stressful times when i feel like i need to battle it from all angles.
what are your go-to methods for stress management? share in the comments below, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org!
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